It is unbelievable how the time flies.
It seems like yesterday when the first day of new year 2016 was about to start and I was more than excited to do something I was waiting for so long. Now the 7th month is almost at the end. And that fact makes me to think about my journey so far.
I have decided to write it all down. From the very beginning. One of my goals is to be myself and honest because these two things are very precious and rare in today’s world. When you create your website or blog or anything similar, most of the time you create it from one reason: to express yourself. to be YOUrself. And while you are writing and writing and following all the “big bloggers” you slowly but surely start to realize it’s not you who is writing your blog, it’s them. You are tring so hard to be as good as everybody else or even better so you actually forget about who you really are. And that’s not the point what you worked for. And that’s something I definitely try to work on. But lets be honest, surrounded by so many pictures and blogs and websites, social medias and opportunities, it’s difficult to stick to your own rules. So let me start from the very beginnig.
To create a blog was my dream for a very long time. I always loved fashion since I was very little, thanks to my mum. I remember how I loved going shopping with her when I was only 6, 7 years old and how proud I was when I could hold her shopping bag. And reading fashion magazines or at least looking at the pictures was one of my favourite activities. Crazy, I know. I was always trying to find my own style. I firmly believed that my outfits looked good, but as I see it with the benefit of hindsight, sometimes it went..well crazy. Haha! After a while when I became older I started to be interested in writing. I was surrouneded by my girlfriends who had the same interest so it was easy to learn how to put my thoughts on paper. We read it to each other, correcting, giving advices and most importantly- supporting each other. As I was growing up I slowly fell in love with English, this time thanks to my private english teacher. I hated English before I started to attend her lessons. But that changed. We (me, two other kids who attend the class w/ me and our teacher) became a little family and I love them very much. My love for English comes from them.
My mum encouraged me to create my own blog long time ago but I never felt ready. It all looked so hard, and I didn’t know ANYTHING about it. I was scared. Because the one thing I knew before all this happened was, that if I started something, whatever it should be, I don’t want it to be childish and unserious. It should at least look someway good. I usually just left the idea of blog behind and stopped thinking about it. But then something changed. One day, when I was doing something completely different this idea jumped on my mind again. And I was sick of only excusing myself. This shit needed to be done.
It was the middle of 2015 and I promised myself that no matter what and no matter how, I WILL make it happen and set up this dream of mine on the first day of new year- 2016. It wasn’t easy. Most of the time I had no idea what the hell I was doing but I can say with pride that I made it all by myself and at the end of the day.. I really did it. I was happy, I was excited, I was a little emotional but that would’t be me, haha!
So I started from the very big bottom. No idea what to do, no idea how it works. And because it wouldn’t be me if I don’t choose something even more difficult, I started my blog (while I had no idea how it works) on a free domain in WordPress.com – in English language. Yup, clever me. So as long as I didn’t even know what the “blogger vocabulary” was in Czech like, I was about to learn it in English. Talking about how “prepared” and “ready” I was, lets talk about the fact that I was not even sure what I will write about exactly or what the name will be. That’s funny story as well. People say that if you want to set up your brand or blog or whatever, the name is the most important thing of the whole process. Well, lets just say that for me it was a little bit different. Of course I did have some ideas about the name but none of them were good enough. When the 1st of January was closer and closer I became to be a little nervous. I still didn’t have a name! Actually I didn’t have the name even one hour before the deadline. Great. Stylemotivations was made a few minutes before I was really about to give up. I was about to give up for many m.a.n.y. times. But I never let myself to do so.
Fear is for me a big thing. Something I fight with most of the time. It’s something I’m still working on and probably will struggle with forever. But to my very nice surprise I have realized it’s at least a little bit better right now. It needs time. Slow small steps. I guess the quote
“What if I fall? But Darling, what if you fly..?”
works for me very well.
Fear is, in my opinion, the most dangerous thing which can affect your life, cosidering the emotions. It can really do a BIG thing with you, if you let it. Fear is a negativ emotion which makes sure you will not achieve your goals which you wanted and live a life you wanted. To be unhappy and not satisfied. And all this only because of fear. So lets make a difference. Lets kick Fear’s ass and extend our opportunities beyond our borders! Beyond the comfort zone.
As I wrote a few minutes ago, there were more than one situation when I was just about to quit. Give up. Just like that. Because, you know, to give up…that’s the easiest thing to do. But to hold on and keep going? That’s the magic. You always need to remember how far you have come and go even further. Just go, go and go! Move. Every little almost invisible step counts and will show in the end. And that’s why I didn’t let myself to surrender. Just N.O.! And you should always remember to not let this easy human act to happen to you as well.
But I also cannot forget one important thing. My friends. I can’t thank them enough for all their support and most importantly- patience. I can really imagine how annoying I am because it is important to remember that all the pictures for the blog are taken by them. I would love to thank especially one of them, my friend M., who is patient with me the most and was always there since the day no. 1. So thank you all, I love you.
Two main things I will work on as well. To spread the good positivity and try to inspire at least a little bit. Today’s world is filled with so many things which are not always good or happy. People who are not always good or happy. Including be. I am a human being and I do have ‘these days’ too. It’s not easy to stay motivated and energized and positiv all the time. But that’s what makes us humans. Lets just make it for ourselves and try to find a good thing on each and every day. Not easy, I know. If someone knows it’s me. haha! But it’s a waste of time to focus on the bad while you can focus on the good instead. I will write a big cliché here, but a HUGE truth as well.
You only have one life.
So now, here I am- 7 months later, sharing with you my story. Girl who had no idea what she was doing and started all alone from the button. And I can’t be hapier. I finally made it happen. And it brings so much joy to me everytime I write or just customize that I can’t be grateful enough that I held on tight and kept going. But don’t misunderstand the whole situation! I am not a professional here. I am still a beginner and even though I finally start to understand a little bit how this world works, I still learn every day. And will learn forever. Because that is what the life is about. So if you are a girl or a boy, at the age of 10, 15 or 30 or any other one and you struggle with the decision if you should or should not.. I have just one piece of an advice for you. If you really truly want it and you know within that it’s what will make you happy but you are scared and fear is all inside your head.. DO IT! Just go and get it! It will be worth it.
Have the happiest Friday wherever you are in the world,
and thank you.
with enormous love
Sweater – Mohito // Shorts – H&M // Bag – Anna Smith